


An Ordinary World

by zillah37 (visionshadows)



Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-01-29
Updated: 2004-01-29
Packaged: 2017-10-11 12:52:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/112617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/visionshadows/pseuds/zillah37
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Muggle world has become the last refuge for witches and wizards. When Severus Snape finds himself in need, he finds his way to Remus Lupin's doorstep.</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Ordinary World

  
  
  
  
  
  


** An Ordinary World**

  
By [ Zillah](mailto:zillah_37@hotmail.com)

 

_And I don't cry for yesterday  
there's an ordinary world  
Somehow I have to find  
and as I try to make my way  
to the ordinary world  
I will learn to survive_

 

 

The knock on the front door startled Remus from his reading. Virginia, the owner of the bookstore he worked at, had loaned him her copy of _Wuthering Heights_ and now Remus felt obliged to actually read the book so she could wax poetic about Heathcliff and Catherine's tragic love with him. Frankly, Remus thought the book was overblown and boring, but he wasn't an 80 year-old Muggle with blue hair and sparkly pink glasses.

Again the knock. Tonks wasn't due to come bring him the Wolfsbane for another week - if she found it at all - and Remus didn't know who else it could be, as he didn't have any contact with what was left of the Wizarding World. Virginia, who sadly was his only friend, never left her flat after 9 p.m. and the Muggle clock with the bright, blinking numbers read 10:38.

Finally, the knocking stopped and Remus settled back into his chair again. Whoever it was obviously had the wrong apartment.

There was a loud crack and Remus jumped up to see who the hell had just Apparated into his flat. Severus Snape stood in front of the couch looking decidedly worse for the wear and not nearly as dead as had previously been suspected. Remus just gaped at him, amazed to see the other wizard in his home.

Severus slumped against the arm of Remus's threadbare couch, managing a slightly withering glare in response to Remus's fish impression. "Get me a cup of tea, Lupin."

"Bloody hell," Remus breathed out quietly. "You're alive, Severus."

"Not for long if you don't get me some bloody tea!" With that, Severus sat down heavily on the couch.

"I don't think you can die from lack of tea," Remus grumbled as he set off to make Severus some tea. Really, he would make Severus anything he wanted right now just because it was so good to see him alive.

"Perhaps not, but you _can_ die from being locked in Azkaban with rogue Dementors for two years."

Remus whirled around in surprise, nearly dropping the teakettle. "They locked you in there? We were told that no one was left inside aside from the Dementors."

"They were wrong." Severus exhaled heavily and Remus saw a thin scar running down the side of his face. "The tea, Lupin."

"Oh." Remus turned back to the kitchen counter and continued to fix the tea, his hands shaking. He could hear Severus's ragged breathing behind him. "Did Tonks find you?"

"No." Severus coughed thickly into his hand. "After I had gotten myself out of Azkaban, I dragged myself to what used to be The Three Broomsticks. Unfortunately, Tom could do nothing besides contact her as his bar is now a Muggle bar." He gestured at himself, "This is her attempt at nursing me back to health before sending me on my way to find my fortunes in the Muggle world. That stupid girl has never been any good at mediwizardry."

"Why did you come to me?" asked Remus as he carried the tea over to Severus. The other man was too weak to actually hold the cup, his hands falling back into his lap when he tried. Remus held the warm cup, looking at the scar again as Severus drank. Thin and pale, an old scar. He watched Severus swallow each hot sip Remus offered him, something Severus had never done before. He had never trusted Remus - or anyone for that matter - not to poison him.

"Tonks assured me that you were the most stable wizard in the Muggle world. You have a job and a flat, which is much more than any other wizard or witch has been able to accomplish since the end of the war."

"Only because I took Moody's paranoia to heart and began to change the galleons I inherited from Sirius and Harry to Muggle money before it wasn't possible to do so anymore." Remus set aside the tea cup and started to unbutton Severus's ragged robes. "Let me take a look at you."

"Nothing much to see." Severus mumbled, his arms closing around his body and robes, stopping Remus. He yawned before finishing, "I will be fine. I just need to rest. I have not Apparated in quite some time."

"At least let me take a look at the scar on your face." Remus reached his hand out, brushing Severus's hair away from his face. "I can try and shrink it."

Severus pulled back again, his voice tight as he said, "It is a curse scar. You cannot shrink it."

"Would you like a bath perhaps?" Remus said calmly. He needed to see how badly starved and hurt Severus was. Unfortunately, Severus's eyes were already slipping closed. "The tub is almost big enough to fit comfortably. And we have hot water today."

Severus just snored softly in response. Remus groaned and hauled Severus up by his elbows, swinging him into his arms. The man weighed appallingly little for his height, reminding Remus of Sirius post-Azkaban.

Remus didn't bother to turn on the lights as he walked into the tiny bedroom, instead walking straight to the bed so that he could set Severus down and get him settled for the night. He removed the ragged robes and looked at the mutilated and skeletal body that had been hidden underneath.

Remus was detached as his gaze swept over the traumas Severus's body had been put through. He'd seen too much over the years. Tomorrow, he decided, he would start healing Severus as best he could. Until then, he dressed the man in an old nightshirt and left him to sleep in the safety of Remus's flat.

* * *

Remus woke up the next morning when his next-door neighbors turned on the shower. The plumbing in the building was less than impressive and tended to squeak and squeal whenever anyone on the floor turned on the water. He sat up uncomfortably, his back protesting a night sleeping on the couch. A quick check in the bedroom proved that yes, it was true that Severus Snape had come back from the dead and was now drooling on his pillow.

Now that Remus had that figured out, he went about his normal morning routine, making coffee for himself and retrieving the newspaper that was left in front of his door every morning. He sat at the battered kitchen table and drank his coffee, the paper spread in front of him.

"Have you anything to eat in this hovel you call a flat?" Remus looked up from his paper and saw a very disheveled and half-asleep Severus glaring at him from the only other chair in the room. He set down his coffee mug and stood up with a smile.

"I've toast and eggs," said Remus. "Fancy a spot of coffee?"

Severus's upper lip curled but he nodded curtly, holding out one thin hand. Remus handed him the mug, setting cream and sugar in front of him. He wasn't surprised when Severus added neither and drank the coffee black, his eyes closing in contentment.

Remus chuckled lightly and went about making breakfast for his grumpy house-guest. He heard the newspaper crinkling and when he turned to ask Severus if he wanted cheese with his eggs, he saw only the paper and two pale, bruised hands holding the edges.

"It's a Muggle paper."

Remus watched Severus lower the paper and growl at him. "I can still read." Remus held up the cheese. "I suppose if you must hide the taste of eggs with anything, cheese will do."

"Really, Severus, it's such a pleasure to have you here," Remus said dryly as he shredded the cheese and added it to the bubbling eggs. "How are you feeling this morning?"

"Tolerable." Severus finished the coffee and held out the mug to Remus. With a bemused smile, Remus refilled it and watched it disappear behind the paper again. "Have you any potions?"

"None." Remus split the eggs between two plates and set one in front of Severus with a fork. "I do have some Muggle remedies."

Severus snorted from behind the paper before folding it up and setting it on the table next to him. Remus got a good look at the pale skin and dark circles under Severus's eyes as well as the curse scar on his face. The sleep seemed to have done nothing for Severus. Remus decided that he really needed to take a good look at Severus's injuries and get to work on healing them.

"Muggle remedies will kill you. I will not take them." Then Severus started to eat and Remus watched in shock as he began to shovel the eggs in his mouth, barely stopping long enough to breathe.

"When was the last time you ate?"

Severus stopped eating, the fork shaking in one thin hand. "Tonks did not have much food in her cottage. She has been increasingly busy following ridiculous leads about wizards and witches who at one time held power in our world."

"Yes, she does that often." Remus said quietly, pushing his eggs around his plate. "Tonks has been doing everything she can to keep our world together."

"She finds us and sends us to established wizards who can teach us to survive in the Muggle world. I do not call that keeping our world together."

"She can also find anything magical you need." Remus's voice was sharp as he met Severus's cool gaze. "I suggest not bad-mouthing the woman who has spent the last few years keeping people alive at her own risk."

"Very well." Severus murmured. He lowered his gaze back to the plate of eggs and started eating again. Remus forked his uneaten eggs onto Severus's plate and got a grunt of thanks. "The eggs are a bit of all right."

"Thank you," Remus said with a bemused expression on his face. "I've work today, but before I go, I would like to take a look at you and see if I can do anything for your injuries."

"You can do the medical spells without taking off my clothes," Severus lifted his head and glared at Remus. "_Again_."

"I chose to take off that ghastly excuse for a robe you were wearing and coming from me, that's saying a lot about the condition of your robes," Remus said with a smirk. "Are you saying you don't like the nightshirt? Certainly it's more comfortable than a filthy, scratchy robe?"

"It is comfortable." Severus admitted. He looked mournfully at his empty plate and picked up his coffee mug again. "Where do you work, Lupin?"

"Could you call me Remus?"

Severus's lip twisted in a grimace, but he nodded curtly, "Very well. Where do you work, _Remus_?"

"I work at a bookstore around the corner. My boss is an 80 year-old Muggle named Virginia." Severus raised an eyebrow and opened his mouth to say something, but Remus interrupted him, "And before you ask, I work there because she doesn't question my once a month absences and I get all the books I want."

Severus paused with his coffee mug halfway between his mouth and the table. "What do you do every month?"

"Well," Remus said casually. "Tonks can usually find me a source for the Wolfsbane. When she can't, I have chains and I shackle myself in the basement of the building in a space that's full of silencing and invisibility charms."

"You take Wolfsbane when you don't know where it comes from?" Severus's expression was full of disgust and a little fear. "Are you _daft_?"

"No, I'm a werewolf without the ability to transform in private." Remus picked up the plates and began to rinse them in the sink. "I've never had a problem with the Wolfsbane Tonks brings me. It's nearly as good as when you made it."

"I'll make it from now on."

Remus turned to look at him, an eyebrow raised in very Snape fashion. "And where do you expect to get the ingredients, Severus? We are in Muggle London with little to no contact with what is left of the Wizarding World."

"I will find a way." Severus stood up and drew the nightshirt around his emaciated body. "I believe I will bathe now. And then, perhaps, I will let you examine my injuries."

"There's no perhaps about it." Remus said as he headed into the bedroom, rummaging through a cheaply-made dresser and unearthing a threadbare green towel. "Here you go. Clean and Slytherin green."

Severus took the towel and peered at it for a moment. "Have you anything that isn't worn?"

Remus bristled slightly and pointed to the bathroom. "There is shampoo and soap in the bathroom. The shower needs to warm up for a spell before you'll get any hot water. I'll find you some clothing."

"Lup - Remus," Severus said softly. "I did not mean that as an insult. I only meant - "

"Go shower." Remus cut him off, arms crossed over his chest. "I need to go to work soon."

Severus wrapped his arms around his chest, holding the towel close. With a curt nod, he walked into the bathroom and shut the door. A few moments later, the pipes began to whinge and Remus sat down on his bed heavily.

Tonks was going to have some explaining to do.

* * *

Remus leaned heavily on the old wooden counter, his elbows resting on top of Virginia's copy of _Wuthering Heights_. His eyes were closed and by all appearances he was fast asleep at his post. And his back was still hurting.

"Remus!"

Remus's elbow slipped and his cheek crashed down on the counter. His eyes opened immediately and he saw Virginia glaring at him from behind her half-moon glasses. He straightened up and wiped his mouth surreptitiously.

"I've been calling you for the past ten minutes," said Virginia, her hands firmly on her hips. "If you are so tired, why are you even here?"

"Because you can't reach the books on the top shelves." Remus said smoothly, giving her a winning smile. "What did you need me for?"

"I've decided we should move the travel section next to religion." Virginia said as she toddled off in the direction of the travel section. Remus followed her obligingly. "Those daft religious folks should travel more."

"We get very few 'daft religious folks' in here." Remus looked at the daunting travel section. "They're frightened of your heathen ways."

"I will have you know that I am not a heathen." Virginia drew herself up to her full height of 1.5 meters and glared at him. "You are the only heathen in this shop."

"And I'm quite proud of it." Remus said, his eyes twinkling. "Want to see my wand?"

Virginia broke down and laughed, her blue eyes softening. She patted Remus's arm and shook her head. "Save that for some nice man out there. I haven't a clue what to do with it anymore."

"Very well." Remus allowed the old woman to goose him as he passed her. He waggled his finger in her direction and began to examine the travel section for ease of movement. "I'll do this tomorrow night after we close."

"Thank you, love." Virginia toddled away from him again, going towards the cramped back room where she kept a tea pot and numerous ancient mugs. "Tea and biscuits at the front counter in five, Remus."

Remus turned to the front counter and immediately bumped into Tonks, her eyes twinkling with amusement. Luckily she kept them the same or else he would never know it was her.

"Get my gift, Remy?"

"You've a wicked sense of humour if you think Severus is a gift," Remus said dryly, flicking her blue riot of curls. "Did you drop in for any reason?"

"Just making sure he got there in one piece." Tonks picked up a copy of _Red Tails in Love: A Wildlife Drama in Central Park_ and made a face. "Wasn't all that comfortable 'bout letting him Apparate in his condition."

"Never tell Severus Snape he can't do something." Remus chewed on his lip slightly. "How long is he going to stay with me?"

"I've got nowhere else to place him and frankly, I fear for his ability to care for himself in the Muggle world." Tonks's expression was serious. "He needs you to take care of him for a bit 'o time, Remy."

"Remus," Virginia called from the back room. "Come help me with the tea."

"Are you staying for tea, Tonks?"

Tonks shook her head. "Got things to do, people to see."

"Very well." Remus turned towards the back room and shouted, "Coming, Virginia!"

"Oh!" Tonks grabbed his arm. She slipped a small phial in his hand as she said, "For Snape's nightmares."

"He doesn't have nightmares." Remus looked at the night-blue phial. Dreamless Sleep Draught.

"Oh, yes he does. Careful, he gets violent. Broke the nose of one of the other wizards I had in the cottage that week."

"So that's the real reason you pawned him off on me while he was still so weak." Remus grabbed Tonks's arm before she could walk away from him. "He's too violent for you to take care of."

"He's better off with you," Tonks said firmly. "Now go get Virginia's tea."

"Promise me that you'll find a better place for him." Remus let go of her arm. "Severus won't want to stay with me for that long. We've got too much history with each other. Too many bad memories."

"See you in a few days, Remy." And with that, she disapparated leaving Remus alone with a phial of Dreamless Sleep Draught and way too many questions.

* * *

Severus had been there only two days when a pattern began to form. Remus woke in the morning to the squealing of pipes, his back lamenting another night spent on the couch. Then Severus, apparently not a morning person, would rise shortly afterwards and read the paper while grumbling about the lack of decent breakfast.

Remus would work all day and leave Severus at home, recovering. The healing spells he performed morning and night were knitting Severus's body back together, slowly but surely making the man as whole as possible.

When he came home at night, there was food on the table and a still-grumpy Severus to talk to.

It frustrated Remus to no end.

* * *

"Did you eat all of the peanut butter, Severus?" Remus opened cabinets, praying that there was just a little peanut butter left to make one more sandwich. It was either that or eat the dreck Severus had made for dinner. He insisted that it was just beef stew, but Remus had smelled old socks that he'd rather eat.

"I threw it out."

Remus stalked back into the main room. "You threw out my peanut butter?"

"It had turned." Severus peered at him from over the top of a book; Remus couldn't see the cover from here. "I will buy you more."

"You haven't any money." Remus gritted his teeth and shut his eyes tightly, counting to three and resolutely not thinking about the fact that peanut butter didn't go bad. "Please do not throw out my things anymore."

"Very well." Severus's voice was cold. He heard the book shut and the barely audible slide of Severus's legs together as he shifted on the couch. "The full moon is tomorrow."

"If Tonks can find the Wolfsbane, she will be here later tonight." Remus moved to sit on the couch next to Severus. The other man eyed him warily as Remus studied Severus's drawn features. "I have something for you."

"I require nothing from you." Severus looked away, his shoulders tight with pride.

Remus took out the phial of Dreamless Sleep Draught and placed it in Severus's hand. "I should have given it to you before now. I didn't realize the nightmares were that bad."

"I do not have nightmares," Severus said haughtily before looking at the phial in his hand. "A potion. Where did you get it?"

"It's Dreamless Sleep. Tonks brought it to me the day after you arrived."

Severus turned the phial in his hands lovingly, one long finger tapping the stopper. "Do you know who made it?"

Remus shook his head. "I've told you that I don't ask who she gets magical items from."

"If it is someone skilled enough to make a proper Dreamless Sleep Draught, I will be able to tell you." Remus watched as Severus uncorked the stopper and dipped his finger into the potion. He touched it to his tongue and snorted slightly. "Hermione Granger."

"What?"

"Miss Granger, like any good Potions master, used her own particular matrix to bind the potion. As far as I know, she was the only one who used rose hips."

"And that potion has rose hips?" Remus looked at the bottle, slightly in awe of Severus's ability to tell who made it with a single taste.

"Would you like to taste for yourself?" Severus held out the bottle of the precious sleeping draught.

"I believe you." Remus pushed his hand down again, wrapping Severus's fingers around it tightly. "You need it much more than I do."

Severus bowed his head, his greasy hair forming a curtain between himself and Remus. Without another word, he slipped the phial into the pocket of the loose pants he wore. Remus sat back and reached for the remote control, turning on the telly for another evening of mindless entertainment. Anything so he didn't have to actually converse with Severus. It was growing more and more painful to have him there everyday, reminding Remus of everything they had lost.

"Remus?"

Remus looked over at Severus and saw dark eyes peering at him from a pale, drawn face.

Severus licked his lips a little and looked over at the telly. "Must that infernal contraption be on tonight?"

"What would you rather us do, Severus?" Remus sighed heavily, but turned off the telly. "Talk?"

"Heavens no." Severus picked up his book again. "I just hate listening to that thing. It will rot what is left of your brain."

Remus slumped back on the couch and looked up at the ceiling. "So if Hermione Granger made that potion, it means she is alive, right?"

"Dreamless Sleep Draught has a very long shelf life," Severus said absently, thumbing through the book. "Perhaps you should ask Tonks where she got the potion."

"I don't ask Tonks questions like that."

"Perhaps you should." Severus shut his book again and looked over at Remus. "Why have you isolated yourself from the Wizarding World so?"

"Survival."

Severus reached out a thin hand and covered Remus's. He squeezed gently before letting go and pushing himself off the couch. "What you are doing is not survival. It is hiding."

"Then let me hide."

Severus's fingers touched Remus's jaw and tilted it up to meet his eyes. "Do you wish me to leave?"

Remus wanted to nod, wanted to force Severus from his tiny home and take back the sanctity of his life. But instead he reached up and wrapped his hand around Severus's, pulling it away from his jaw.

"Go to bed, Severus. You need a good night's sleep."

Without another word, Severus swept out of the room, the door to the bedroom closing quietly. Remus reached for the remote and turned on the telly again. Severus might not like the noise of the telly, but Remus did. He felt less lonely with other voices floating in the air.

* * *

Tonks never showed, so Remus spent the following night chained in the basement, howling out his grief and bloodlust into a void of silencing charms.When the morning dawned clear and cold, Remus was curled up on the cement floor with strained muscles and a sore throat.

He felt arms wrap a blanket around him and a soothing voice whispered healing spells. The arms guided him back to the flat and tucked him into bed. Delicate fingers pushed back his hair and Remus smacked his lips, wrapping his arms around his pillow.

"Thank you, Sirius."

The hands drew back quickly, sharply, as if they'd been burned, but before Remus could figure out why, he drifted off to sleep. When he woke up in the afternoon, he found Severus passed out on the couch, a bottle of whiskey on the floor next to him.

* * *

Two weeks passed and neither made a move to discuss what happened that morning after the full moon. Remus worked and laughed and had dinner with Virginia five times. Severus hid in the bedroom during the daylight hours and read the books Remus had scattered around the flat.

The Dreamless Sleep Draught was gone. The silencing charms Severus put up could not hold back the screams that plagued him at night. Remus couldn't bring himself to strengthen them, needing to hear Severus's cries and pleas.

But as Remus watched Severus's face grow more and more drawn, the circles under his eyes threatening to swallow him whole, he knew he had to do something.

Finally, Remus had enough. He purchased _Nytol_ and set the package on the bedside table, waiting for Severus to come out of the bathroom. When he did, Remus was surprised to find him wearing only the worn Slytherin green towel around his hips. Scars raced over his body, a horrible tableau to the years of torture Severus went through trying to redeem himself.

"Kindly avert your eyes," Severus said calmly. Remus looked away and heard a dresser drawer open. He had yet to purchase new clothing for Severus. He was wearing old clothes of Sirius's that Remus found in a box somewhere. "I am now decent."

Remus looked back at him and felt his heart ache at the sight of Severus wearing Sirius's old Gryffindor T-shirt from when they had won the Quidditch cup back in the late '70s. Baggy pajama pants completed Severus's sleepwear, tiny Snitches dancing across the fabric.

"Come to bed, Severus."

Severus's steps faltered and he stopped at the end of the bed. "Why are you in here?"

"I brought you something to help you sleep." Remus reached for the _Nytol_. "It's called _Nytol_."

"Is that a Muggle treatment?" Severus frowned at the package.

"Yes." Remus knew he couldn't lie about it, especially since it was in a cardboard package and each pill was individually wrapped in a blister pack. "It helps you sleep."

Severus held out his hand, his frown deepening as Remus handed him the package. He read the ingredients, his lips moving slightly. Remus had never noticed that before. "I will not take this."

Remus took the package back and set it on the bedside table again."Very well. I suppose you'd rather scream yourself hoarse from nightmares instead."

Severus's eyes flashed and his jaw clenched tightly."I have wards up."

"They fail and I don't strengthen them." Remus held out his hand to Severus. "Get in bed. I'll stay with you tonight."

"And why don't you strengthen them?" Severus's face flushed at that.

"Because I need to hear you," Remus said simply. "Please lie down."

Surprisingly, Severus lay down next to him. He was stiff and tense, but he was in bed with Remus. When Remus had first thought to suggest it, he assumed Severus would refuse automatically. Maybe they both were starved for affection.

"I have not slept in bed with someone in over two-and-a half years," Severus said quietly. "Not since Harry …"

"I haven't really since Sirius." Remus leaned over and turned off the lamp. "Tonks every so often, but really we just shag and she heads off again."

Severus rolled onto his side to face Remus. "You shag her?"

Remus nodded, reaching up to tuck Severus's hair back so he could see the other man's face, scar and all. "Sometimes I just want someone to touch me."

Severus's eyes closed and he exhaled slowly. "Goodnight, Remus."

"Do you miss him?"

"Do you miss Black?"

"Of course." Remus watched Severus's expressionless face in the darkness. "I loved him."

Severus's eyes opened again and he almost smiled. "Then you already know my answer. Goodnight, Remus."

This time Remus didn't break the silence between them. There was nothing more to say at the moment anyway.

* * *

It took three days of them sleeping next to each other for Remus to admit that it comforted him, having someone else so close by. Severus's nightmares were easily calmed; sometimes Remus didn't even have to wake him to stop the screaming. The circles became less prominent and Remus was sure he detected a smile at least once.

Severus made breakfast one morning: pancakes and coffee. He spent the entire meal staring at Remus, who tried to figure out if he had something odd stuck to his face.

"I would like to find a job."

Remus choked on his coffee, spitting it back in the cup. He coughed for a few moments, trying to get his breath again. "Excuse me?"

"I dislike this flat," Severus said calmly. "I have decided that I will get a job and we will have enough money to get a better flat."

"You want us to get a flat together?"

Severus folded his hands together and rested his chin on his peaked fingers. "Perhaps I am being hasty. Do you actually like this flat?"

Remus looked around the tiny, worn flat and shrugged. "It's a place to live. Why do you want to continue to live with me?"

"I was under the - " Severus looked down at his plate, spots of colour appearing on his cheeks. "I do not wish to live alone."

"You do not need to work," Remus said quietly. "We have money."

"You have money. I have nothing."

"No." Remus's voice was firm. "The money in my account is both Sirius's and Harry's. You have just as much claim to Harry's money as I've got."

"My name was not on the inheritance."

"Only because you did not wish it to be," Remus said as he reached across the table and clasped one of Severus's thin hands. "You know I am right."

Severus's fingers folded around Remus's, holding on tightly. "I do not like it here."

"With me?" Remus watched as Severus's features relaxed at the touch. It was almost as if Severus was having a waking nightmare; his reactions were the same.

"No. You are much more … pleasant to live with than I had expected." Severus squeezed again. "I do not like this world. I want to go home."

"We have no home to go to anymore. There are only a few survivors and the Muggle world. In order to kill Voldemort, we had to destroy ourselves." Remus lowered his head, looking at their clasped hands. "So really, Voldemort won."

Severus wrenched his hand away and without a word of argument or agreement, disappeared into the bedroom.

Remus picked up the paper and began to look at ads for flats.

* * *

"I'm sorry that I said that." Remus sat on the toilet and looked at Severus who was currently shaving. "I shouldn't have said that - especially to you of all wizards."

"We all believe our own truths." Severus eyed him in the mirror. "Must you be in here while I do this?"

"I thought you spelled your beard." Remus cocked his head, meeting Severus's eyes. "Are you going Muggle on me?"

"You have gone Muggle on me." Severus rinsed off the blade and made another swipe at the foam covering his cheek. "I am only trying to blend in."

"I think we need to get you some new clothes."

"The clothing you have given me is adequate." Severus rinsed off the blade again. "I do not need more."

"You will if you want to work." Remus picked at his own frayed pajama top. "And I suppose I could spend a little of the money we have on some new clothing for myself."

"If you do not wish to spend the money," Severus said as he threw the blade down and wiped his face off. He whipped out his wand and aimed it at his face, muttering the words for the shaving spell. He replaced the wand in the nightshirt and turned to Remus. "Do not spend it because I made the mistake of being presumptuous."

The corners of Remus's mouth quirked slightly. "Was that your way of saying you're sorry?"

"Hardly." Remus stood up and put a hand on Severus's shoulder. "We'll get a two bedroom with a working shower and possibly even a separate living room and kitchen."

"That would be tolerable."

Remus saw a tenuous smile playing on Severus's lips and without thinking, he leaned in and pressed his lips to the corner of it. When he pulled back, the smile was gone.

"I - I cannot." Severus murmured and walked out of the tiny bathroom, leaving Remus standing next to the toilet with a surprised look on his face. Severus had smelled like cheap shaving cream.

In the middle of the small bedroom, Severus stood with his arms crossed over his chest. Remus walked towards him tentatively as if he was approaching a wild creature.

"I cannot do it again, Remus."

"Can't do what?"

"We are both grieving men." Severus's eyes were closed now and Remus could see lines of pain etched deep into his face.

"Severus, I wasn't - I just saw you smiling and that made me happy." Remus touched his shoulder again, pulling away when Severus flinched. "I wasn't asking for anything."

"Does it stop hurting?" asked Severus quietly, his voice raw. Remus didn't have to ask what he was referring to.

"Eventually. You almost miss that hurt though; I do at least." Remus sat down on his bed and watched as Severus struggled with himself on whether or not to sit down. "Sometimes I wake up in the morning and I think about Sirius without hurting and I feel so guilty for that. I'm alive, living this half-life that I don't deserve and he's dead. I can't even grieve for him properly anymore."

Severus sat down, his back ramrod straight and his jaw tense. "I miss him."

"I'd be more worried if you didn't." Remus cautiously touched Severus's thigh, leaving it there when the other man put his hand over top of his, keeping him still. They sat on the bed for a long time without saying anything else.

Later, when Remus was shelving books in the romance section, he realized that was the most he'd ever heard Severus talk about how he was dealing with losing Harry. In all honesty, it was the most he'd ever heard Severus talk about anything dealing with his emotional well-being. Remus couldn't help but think that was a good thing.

* * *

Remus was alone in the apartment, drinking tea. The full moon was in two days and he was starting to feel itchy and caged, but refused to go outside at night. The moon, so close to being full, hurt. Severus had ventured out with Remus's money purse to go explore the shops around the neighborhood, leaving Remus to his own devices.

So Remus had made himself some tea and was watching a re-run of _Babylon 5_. Oddly enough, he found himself missing Severus's presence - as irritating as it could be. Living with someone else brought back a lot of memories he had wanted to keep buried.

The crack of someone apparating into the apartment made Remus reach for his nonexistent wand. He really had to stop keeping it in the bedroom. Luckily it was only Tonks wearing a cheeky grin and fuchsia hair.

"Oi, Remy." Tonks sat down on the couch happily. "Did you fiddle with your wards? Had a little resistance getting through tonight."

"Snape may have added some of his own," Remus said as he reached for the remote and turned off the television. "What brings you around?"

"Brought you a little something." Tonks reached into one of her voluminous pockets - she still wore robes - and pulled out a stoppered flask. "Managed to procure you a little Wolfsbane. Less than the required dose, but enough so that you can stay in the apartment."

"Thank you," Remus said gratefully. He immediately got up and stowed the Wolfsbane in the icebox. "Can I get you a spot of tea?"

"That'd be marvy," Tonks said, kicking off her boots. "Brought something for Severus as well. Where's the git at?"

"Out shopping." Remus poured her a cup and added a splash of cream to it. "What'd you bring him?"

"Papers." Tonks pulled them out of her pocket and slapped them down on the rickety coffee table. "He's all legal now."

"Wonderful." Remus handed her the tea and picked up Snape's papers. He scanned them quickly. "He wants to get a job. This will definitely make it simpler."

Tonks looked at him warily. "Snape working for a Muggle? Do you think that's wise?"

"I think it's what he wants." Remus folded the papers up and left them on the table. "And I for one, will not stop him. He needs to feel useful again."

"As long as I don't get called in to clean up any deaths, I'm fine with it." Tonks sipped her tea. "This a new blend?"

"Severus made it."

"Lovely," Tonks said as she set the cup down. "That enough small talk?"

"Quite," Remus said before kissing her roughly. Her small hands pushed him backwards, a wry smile on her face. "What?"

"Bedroom, Remy. I don't relish the idea of Snape finding us starkers on the couch."

"I think he'd much rather find us on the couch than discover later that we fucked on the bed," Remus said logically. "He's a little nutty about the bed."

"It's your bed."

"And he sleeps in it." Tonks rolled her eyes and stood up. "Fine. I'll transfigure something into another bed. I don't want Snape to see me starkers."

"You look great without your robes on." Remus chuckled, following her into the bedroom. "Why else would I sleep with you?"

"Desperation," Tonks said, winking at him as she transfigured the bedside table into another bed, making the room entirely too crowded. "Bugger. This isn't going to work."

Remus held out his hand for her wand. "We can shrink the other bed."

"All this work just to have quick, meaningless sex before parting for another month." Tonks sighed dramatically and gave him her wand. "Where's your wand, Remy?"

"It's safe." Tonks watched him shrink the bed before climbing on the one she had transfigured. Remus turned to her and set the wand on the pillow.

"You look tired."

"Snape has nightmares still," Remus sat down next to her. He began to unbutton his shirt. "Can you get a hold of anymore Dreamless Sleep?"

"Doubt it." Tonks tugged her shirt over her head and tossed it aside. "Is that a new scar?"

"Oh." Remus looked down at the still pink line across his chest. "Yeah. I caught myself last month. We took care of it."

Tonks bent down and pressed her lips to the line. Remus shuddered slightly and trailed fingertips along her tanned skin. She looked up at him and moved quickly, pushing Remus backwards and kissing him firmly.

Remus felt vaguely guilty for a moment, saw black hair in his mind's eye before pushing it aside. He could feel guilty after he got off.

* * *

The next morning, Remus scrambled eggs wearing only a pair of pajama bottoms and slippers. When Remus checked on Severus, the other man was still asleep on the couch that he had transfigured into a bed when Tonks and Remus had not ventured from the bedroom. Remus saw an empty coffee cup and a chemistry textbook on the ground next to him. He'd have to ask what Severus got up to the night before.

"When we move, I insist we make sure that the pipes do not make that god awful noise," Severus said as he moved to sit at the table, his eyes bleary and his voice scratchy. "It is either that or cast permanent silencing charms on the bathroom."

"I agree with that," Remus said as he set a cup of coffee in front of Severus. He heard the pipes stop squealing. "Uh. Sorry about last night."

Severus raised an eyebrow as he drank his coffee. He set it down and wiped his mouth on his sleeve. "I haven't a clue what you are referring to."

Tonks bounced out of the bedroom wearing Remus's pajama top and a pair of his boxers. She sat down at the table, a bright smile on her face. "Morning, boys."

"That." Remus muttered to Severus before getting another cup of coffee for himself. "There is no way I am giving you caffeine, Nymphadora."

"Oi!" Tonks laughed, reaching over to swat him. "You shag me and then call me that awful name. How mean of you."

"Which was the mean part?" Severus asked dryly. "The shagging or the name?"

"The name," Tonks assured him. "Remus is a pleasure to shag."

"We _really_ don't need to discuss this," Remus said to them both. "Who wants eggs?"

"A pleasure to shag, you say." Severus sipped his coffee. "Do tell."

Tonks's eyes twinkled with amusement and she took Severus's mug of coffee, sipping it before handing it back. "He does wondrous things with his tongue. Quite nimble if I do say so myself."

Remus could feel his neck turning pink from embarrassment. This was not a conversation he wanted them to have.

"And what do you bring to the equation, Tonks?"

"Excellent cocksucking skills, a tight pussy, and the ability to change my appearance into a middle-aged man with long, black hair and tattoos."

"Tonks!" Remus turned and glared at her angrily. "Get out!"

"I was just joking, Remy." Tonks waved her hand absently and turned back to Severus. "Honestly, he's never asked me to look like Sirius."

"Blow it out your arse." Remus muttered as he scrapped at the eggs with a spatula.

"He's so pleasant first thing in the morning," Tonks said to Severus. She stood up and cracked her back. "As much as I would love to stay for breakfast, I've got to go. Busy, busy, you know. Enjoy the Wolfsbane, Remy."

"I will as much as I always do," Remus said, his voice full of false cheer. "Try not to splinch yourself on the way home."

Tonks swatted his arse and blew a kiss to Severus before heading back into the bedroom to get dressed.

Remus turned to look at Severus, a contrite expression on his face. "She usually leaves right afterwards. The woman is a menace."

"One of the many reasons to stick to men." Severus held out his coffee mug. "She drank my coffee."

Remus looked at him oddly. "You let her."

"I was being friendly. Kindly repay me by getting me a fresh cup."

"Are you afraid of Tonks germs?" asked Remus as he took the mug from Severus. He dumped it in the sink, pouring him a fresh mug.

"I'll leave the Tonks germs to you." Severus took a sip. "I have no desire to incorporate them in my body at this time. Or ever."

Remus snorted and sat down next to him. "She's not that bad when she's naked."

"Neither was Lord Voldemort."

Remus winced and shook his head, pushing a plate of eggs at Severus. "I really didn't need to know that you saw him naked."

"Saw who naked?" Tonks walked out of the bedroom, fixing her robes as she headed towards them again. "Dish, boys."

"Leave, Tonks," Remus said as he handed her a wrapped egg sandwich. "Thank you for the Wolfsbane."

"I never get to hear the fun stuff." Tonks stuffed the sandwich in a pocket and kissed Remus's cheek. "I'll drop in when I get a chance."

"Never would be too soon," Remus said, but he kissed her cheek in return. "Get out of here."

Tonks snubbed her nose at him and waved at Severus. "I'll see if I can scrounge up some more Dreamless Sleep."

"I sleep just fine in my bed," Severus said to her. "I much prefer it to the couch."

"I'll remember that the next time I'm over," said Tonks with a grin. "Perhaps we'll just use the kitchen table."

"Hardly." Remus pushed her towards the door. "Don't you have someplace to be?"

"Bugger. I'm late for my hair appointment."

"You're a metamorph."

"It was a euphemism for an appointment with an old friend." Tonks grimaced and shook her head. "I'm off."

And with that, she finally Disapparated, leaving Severus and Remus alone again. Remus turned to see Severus looking at him with an inscrutable look. Remus flushed slightly and turned away again.

"I think I'll shower," Remus said softly. "Enjoy the eggs."

"Do you not want any?"

"I'm not hungry anymore."

* * *

"What do you call this thing?" asked Remus, peering at the over-sized coffee mug in front of him. Severus sipped from his own over-sized mug, his black hair tied back with a leather strap.

"A hazelnut cappuccino."

"And what exactly are you drinking?"

"Vanilla and almond latte." Remus sniffed his mug. "It smells a little strange."

"Pretend that you do not have werewolf senses for a moment and just drink the blasted thing."

"How much time do you spend in this place?" Remus looked around at the small coffee shop that was surprisingly empty for the time of day. The girl that was working had abandoned her spot behind the counter in favour of a computer against the back wall.

"A few hours a day, I suppose." Severus set his mug on the table. "Are you not going to try it?"

"I really just prefer tea." Remus said but gamely took a sip of the coffee … thing. "It's not bad."

Severus sniffed slightly and shook his head. "You have no sense of adventure."

"I tasted it!"

"And dismissed it as 'not bad.'"

Remus took a large gulp and glared at Severus defiantly. Severus just raised an eyebrow and pushed the newspaper towards Remus.

"I have circled a few possibilities that seem to be in a decent neighborhood and within our budget."

"Severus, we _have_ no budget." Remus looked over at him. "You know that."

"I have no real desire to use more of Harry's money than necessary," Severus said quietly, his gaze focused on his hands. "Or Black's."

"His name was Sirius."

"I have spent many years attempting to not utter his given name unless needed." Severus took a deep breath. "Must you push?"

"You call me Remus now."

"I also sleep in your bed and make you dinner every night. I believe we have moved past our prior relationship as reluctant co-workers. However, I have not had that _pleasure_ with Black."

Remus looked at him with a mild expression, refusing to be baited by Severus again. "No harm in calling him Sirius. For all I know, you could be talking about Regulus."

"I can assure you that I will never talk about Regulus Black." Severus nudged the paper lightly. "Look at the ads."

"I'm looking at them." Remus looked back at the paper. "He never wanted to call you by your given name either."

"Then we unfortunately had something in common."

Remus smiled a little at that. "You have quite a few things in common with Sirius - like that shirt for example."

Severus looked down at the black jumper he had on. "I thought you got this from a thrift store."

"I lied."

"I thought it smelled like mangy cur."

Remus smiled and finished drinking his cappuccino. "Perhaps you should just take care of our living situation. I'm pretty easy when it comes to a place to stay."

Severus arched an eyebrow. "Another lie, I see. I remember how you protested living at Grimmauld Place."

"That had nothing to do with the house. I just hate looking for flats." Remus sighed. "Couldn't you just find something you like and make sure there's a second room for me?"

"A second bedroom or a room I can lock you in once a month?"

Remus frowned and pushed the paper back towards Severus. "I just need a basement."

"And I need you in a room close by," Severus said softly. "For my own comfort."

"It bothers you that much?" Remus looked at him curiously.

"I am not bothered." Severus straightened up. "It is purely for safety reasons. Imagine if you were to get loose from your basement stronghold and maul someone."

"I've thought about it." Remus watched as the girl working moved from the computers back to the counter to get a cup of coffee for herself. "Oh, and thank you for bringing it up again. I always appreciate being reminded that I could kill anyone around me - " he looked back at Severus. "Including you."

"I can defend myself."

Remus didn't say anything for a few minutes before he finally gestured at the computers. "Do you know how to use those things?"

"Not really." Severus finished his coffee and leaned back in the chair. "Why?"

"But you can use them?"

"Yes," Severus said uncomfortably. "I can use them."

Remus looked back at Severus with a smile. "You can use a computer."

"Kindly refrain from spreading that around."

"Who would I tell?" asked Remus gently. "I'm proud of you."

Severus snorted slightly. "Because I can use a computer?"

"Because you're trying."

Severus shifted in his chair, "Would you like to see a dancing hamster? It's quite frustrating and annoying, yet oddly compelling. It does something called the Macarena."

"You paint a wonderful picture," Remus said dryly, but stood up. "Sure, show me the dancing hamster."

* * *

"Did Black ever talk you to about Azkaban?"

Remus shoved his hands deeper into his pockets and shrugged a little. They walked down the street next to each other, the snow swirling around in the air. Severus was wearing a bright orange muffler that made Remus think of the Chudley Cannons that both Ron and Harry had loved so much.

"He didn't like to talk about it," Remus finally said as they waited at a crosswalk. "It haunted him though. He was quite insane, to be honest."

"Understandable." Severus watched cars pass them by before the light changed and they could safely cross. "I do not know how I managed to survive in there. There were only two of us to feed on and so many Dementors clambering to get closer."

"Who was there with you?" asked Remus curiously.

"Lucius." Severus's eyes flickered over to Remus's face briefly before returning to the sidewalk in front of them. "He was there trying to convince the Dementors that the war was not over despite Voldemort's death. I was there to convince the Dementors that the war was over and that they were to stay in Azkaban forever."

"You cannot reason with Dementors."

"I know that better than anyone - except for Lucius and he's dead."

Remus shook his head and took out the keys to the bookstore. He unlocked the door and pushed it open, a swirl of snow following them inside. Severus stamped his feet on the mat Virginia kept by the front door for this very reason.

"I could do with a spot of tea," Severus said as he pushed past Remus gently and headed for the back room where he knew Virginia kept a tea pot and tea. "You?"

"Sure," Remus said. He took off his coat, draping it over the cash wrap. There were five boxes stacked on the floor by the front door, books inside waiting to be shelved and sold. "Thanks for helping me with this."

"I've nothing better to do except watch football on TV." Severus poked his head out of the back room. "And you know I hate sitting in front of that thing."

Remus chuckled and slit the first box open. "Have you the tea ready?"

"Almost."

"Are you a wizard or not?" Remus laughed, looking over his shoulder at Severus. "Use your wand."

"It is at the flat." Severus carried the tray to the front, elbowing Remus's coat aside to put it down. "I saw no reason to bring it with me."

"There's a first." Remus snatched up a cup and gestured at the box. "Romance novels. Our bread and butter."

"Tripe." Severus picked up one and began to read from the back cover, "Somewhere in South America, at the home of the country's vice president, a lavish birthday party is being held in honor of Mr. Hosokawa, a powerful Japanese businessman. Roxanne Coss, opera's most revered soprano, has mesmerized the international guests with her singing. It is a perfect evening -- until a band of gun-wielding terrorists breaks in through the air-conditioning vents and takes the entire party hostage." Severus snorted. "Oh honestly."

"It sells." Remus shrugged. "How did you get out of Azkaban?"

"There was a weakening in the wards," Severus said as he rifled through the box of romance novels. "Near the south end. The Dementors were distracted by Lucius."

"Is he dead?"

"He was Kissed." Severus sipped his tea. "What are in the other boxes?"

"Sci-fi and fantasy in this one." Remus kicked one of the boxes. "The other three contain a variety. Religion, travel, foreign language."

"Fascinating. I would have killed him if the Dementors hadn't gotten to him first." Severus picked up the box of romance novels. "Where do I put these?"

Remus put a pricing gun on top of the box and pointed to the right, "Just shelve them in alphabetical order. The price is on the inside flap of the book. Just put a sticker on the back of the book. And Severus, I don't blame you at all. I wouldn't have blamed you if you had killed him in there."

Severus nodded once more. "I tried. Then I just tried to survive without letting them take all of my happy memories."

Remus shuddered a little and rubbed his own arms. "Just the thought of them makes my blood run cold."

"Yes." Severus murmured a little, his head lowered. "It is hard to produce a Patronus when you believe yourself deserted by those you considered comrades in arms. Especially so soon after losing - " He stopped abruptly and walked away, the box in his arms. "Over here?"

"That's the aisle," Remus said softly. "Severus, for what it's worth, I'm sorry that you lost him."

Severus turned slightly, his black eyes haunted. "So am I."

* * *

"Here, dear," Virginia said as she handed Remus a chipped teacup with a blue flower pattern. "Now sit and talk with me. Something is obviously running around in that sharp mind of yours."

Remus settled back in one of the armchairs in the cramped corner of the shop. "My roommate and I are searching for a larger flat and frankly, I dislike moving."

"Whatever do you need a larger flat for?"

"Severus and I are tired of living on top of each other. We share a bedroom and no men in their late 40s should be sharing a room like teenagers in a dormitory."

Virginia chuckled and handed him a biscuit. "There is a lovely flat in my building that has recently become vacant."

"Really?" Remus took a bite of the biscuit, thinking to himself. "I'll have to mention it to Severus. What's it like?"

"Oh quite like mine, I suppose. Two bedrooms and a little side-room off the master bedroom. One bath but honestly you don't need more than one unless you have children in your life. Having the two bedrooms is always marvelous when you have company over. Nobody enjoys kipping on a couch, you know."

"It is also helpful when two people live in the flat," Remus said to her.

"Remus, love." Virginia patted his knee with one frail hand. "You don't need to censor you life from me. I may be a dodgy old woman right now, but I was young once myself. I lived during the 60s and 70s. I am well aware that you and Severus enjoy the company of each other and it doesn't upset me." She smiled at him warmly. "You've been alone for far too long with only that young niece of yours to keep you company. I haven't a clue why you don't speak with her parents anymore. Perhaps it is because you enjoy the company of men and they don't agree with it, but that is really none of my business."

Remus coughed and set down his tea cup. "Severus and I are not enjoying each others company. We may both enjoy the company of men, but not each other. Do you understand?"

"Well why are you not enjoying each other's company?"

"It's complicated, Virginia. Severus and I have known each other for a very long time - since we were both eleven. There's a lot of history between us and the majority of it is not pleasant."

"Codswallop." Virginia set her tea cup. "The two of you look at each with love in your eyes. I find it hard to believe that neither of you have stones to do anything about it."

"We are both in mourning," Remus said to her sharply. "Let it go, Virginia."

Virginia's gaze was hard as she stared at him before her expression softened and she picked up her tea cup again. "How is Severus's search for employment going?"

"He's taken a part-time job at the coffee shop around the corner." Remus picked up his tea cup as well. "He spends enough time there that they just gave him a job."

Virginia wrinkled her nose. "You mean that blasted shop where they sell those godforsaken coffee drinks?"

Remus nodded. "He made me drink something called a hazelnut cappuccino the other day."

"Horrible," Virginia said, shaking her head. "Give me proper tea any day."

"I agree." Remus tapped his cup against hers. She laughed happily and sat back with a biscuit and her book. Remus picked up the book he had been reading as well, happy that she had stopped her line of questioning. Virginia could be quite tenacious when she wished to be.

Something told him that she wasn't going to let this particular conversation die though.

* * *

Remus sat down on the ratty couch next to Severus and looked around at the new flat with their same old, broken furniture. The living room blended into the dining room into the kitchen just like the last flat. However, off the living room were two doors instead of one. Severus's room was on the right; Remus's on the left.

"Have you your wand handy?"

Remus reached into his pocket. "Where's yours?"

"Packed away in one of those boxes," Severus pointed at the precarious pile leaning against the wall. "I will unearth it soon enough."

Remus handed him the wand and watched as Severus redecorated the room in a scheme of green and black, heavy curtains covering the windows. With a scowl, he grabbed the wand from Severus's hand.

"That is not the way we're decorating. It's not a dungeon, you know."

Severus reached for the wand again, almost smiling when Remus held it out of his reach. "Very well. Do not even think about red and gold."

"I've never been fond of Gryffindor colours." Remus assured him. He changed the walls to a pale brown with cream border. "How's about that?"

"Too dull." Snape took the wand back and changed the walls to a rose colour. "That is better."

"Pink?"

"It is rose!"

"No, no." Remus took the wand back. "It's lovely. I just never knew that you had an appreciation for colour."

"My quarters at Hogwarts were not decorated in all black." Severus looked around the room. "Harry liked blue."

"So did Sirius." Remus tugged on the hem of the jumper Severus had on. "As is evinced by your sweater."

"Must you remind me that I wear his clothes?"

Remus chuckled and wrapped his arms around Severus's shoulders tightly. He blew a raspberry on Severus's cheek, laughing the whole time. "You're a lovely little replacement Sirius."

"I thought that was Tonks's place," Severus said with a raised eyebrow. "I so enjoy being slobbered on by you in your human form. It makes me long for the wolf."

Remus laughed and wiped off Severus's cheek with his sleeve. "I can arrange a meeting for this month if you so desire to see the wolf again."

Severus shook his head, his expression serious. "I'd rather not, even if you have been taking Wolfsbane."

Remus sat back, the joking mood broken and smashed by reality. He nodded a little and picked up the wand again. He began to fix up the furniture in the room without another word. Severus got up a few minutes later and went into the kitchen.

* * *

Remus woke with a start, unaware of why his body would be waking him at this late hour. He blinked in the darkness, his nose finally picking up Severus perched on the bed next to him.

"Sev'rus?"

Severus's gaze turned on Remus, his hand stroking the new green blanket on Remus's bed. "About a year after I arrived at Hogwarts as a teacher, Albus discovered that I had only a thin, decrepit blanket to keep myself warm in the dungeons. He found this to be a regrettable thing and bought me a thick, warm blanket."

"Green?"

Severus nodded. "I loved that blanket. It kept me warm and comforted for years."

Remus yawned and shifted over in the bed. Severus slipped under the covers, his face inches from Remus's own. Remus yawned again as he said, "What happened to the blanket?"

"As you know, in the final weeks of the war, I was trapped in Hogwarts with the younger children. We had no elves, no clean clothing, very little food. I began to transfigure bed linens into clean clothing and robes. My blanket became my robe and when Harry appeared at Hogwarts, blood-stained and exhausted, his own robe torn to shreds, I gave it to him. I kissed him good-bye and sent him on his way." Severus's voice broke. "I can only assume the robe was destroyed along with Harry."

Remus put his arm around Severus, pulling him closer. "I'm sorry."

"Do not be. There is nothing you could have done." Severus sighed softly. "It was his destiny and we all knew that."

"Destiny does not make the loss any easier."

"Quite true." Severus closed his eyes and moved to rest his head on Remus's pillow. "However, the ability to talk about it soothes slightly."

"Then talk whenever you want to." Remus kissed his forehead lightly and closed his eyes. "I'm here to listen."

"I think that will be all for tonight." Severus rested a hand on Remus's side. "Good night, Remus."

"I will make breakfast in the morning." Remus murmured. "Anything you would like."

Severus nodded minutely. "Sleep."

"Sleep." Remus whispered in agreement. He drifted off again, comforted by Severus's weight against his side.

* * *

Tonks ran her hand over the back of the couch, clucking her tongue in approval. "I must say, it is a sight better than the old place. Never thought you'd cotton to keeping old Snape though."

"It is easier to be here with him then with just my memories," Remus said, watching as Tonks moved about the flat. "What brings you here today?"

Tonks reached into her pocket and drew out a small bottle. "It's five months worth of Wolfsbane. Severus will know the proper preservation spell to keep it under."

Remus took the bottle with care, peering at the contents. "Five months?"

Tonks nodded in affirmation. "I am going to Romania for quite some time. There are rumours of the few wizarding communities there being inundated with survivors. I have to look, see who I can find."

"You have a lead." Remus moved closer to her, his jaw tight. "Who are you looking for?"

Tonks shook her head. "I have no knowledge of who is showing up there. I'm hoping to find a Weasley."

"No." Remus grabbed her shoulder, making her look at him. "Who is out there, Nymphadora?"

"Malfoy," Tonks whispered. "I heard rumour of a blonde wizard that more than fits Draco's description."

"What good will it do to go after him now?" Remus shook his head and turned away from her. "Leave it be, Tonks."

"Draco has the money, Remus. You know that." Tonks ran her fingers along the bookcase along one wall. "We need him to give over the Gringotts keys."

"Draco Malfoy will _never_ give up the Gringotts keys."

"I have to try."

"Why?" Remus turned to look at her, his normally calm face flushed. "Why do you have to try? What is the bloody point? Getting the keys to Gringotts won't help _any_ of us. The Galleon has no value and it never will again!"

"I still have to try!" Tonks turned to glare back at him, her voice raised. "I will never accept that the Wizarding World is destroyed. I can't believe that you of all people can!"

"Me of all people? Why should I care more than the average wizard who is left stranded in the Muggle world?"

"Because you need the Wizarding World." Tonks spat back at him. "You're a werewolf!"

"And the Wizarding World has never welcomed me as a part of it. Ever since I was bit, I've been an outcast. I fought to be normal in a world that only saw me as an animal. I fought _for_ that world and I've been given nothing but grief in return." Remus shook his head. "No, I have no reason to care about the fate of the Wizarding World any longer."

"It's your fate as well."

"Get out," Remus said as he pointed at the door. "I won't sit here and have you tell me what I have to do. I will tell you this much, Tonks. Draco Malfoy could care less about the rest of the Wizarding World. He will not give you the keys and he most likely do his best to kill you. Do yourself a favour and stay away from Romania."

"Be careful with the Wolfsbane," Tonks said in a tight voice. "I'll see you when I get back, Remy."

Remus sat down on the couch, huffing in frustration. "He's dangerous."

"Most of the wizards I deal with are dangerous. This is what I do."

"Chasing after Draco in a vain attempt to regain control of Gringotts should not be high up on your list." Remus refused to look at her. He heard a faint crack from one of the bedrooms that signaled Severus's return to the flat. "I won't argue about this anymore. Severus is back."

"I should be going," Tonks murmured. "Tell Severus I said hello."

"Think about what I said." Remus stood up and walked over to her. "Give us a kiss."

Tonks sighed a little and wrapped her arms around Remus tightly. "I'll be careful. I have to do this, Remus."

Remus kissed her cheek. "Come back soon."

Tonks returned the kiss and stepped back. "I'll try, Remus."

Remus crossed his arms over his chest and watched her disapparate. The bedroom door opened a moment later and he forced himself not to jump when a hand touched his shoulder.

"I brought you some coffee," Severus said quietly, leaving his hand on Remus's shoulder. "And a croissant."

"Thank you." Remus put his hand over top of Severus's. "Tonks says hello."

"Did she bring you Wolfsbane?"

"Five months worth," Remus said softly, leaning back against Severus. "She's going to Romania to try and find Draco."

Severus pursed his lips. "Come drink your coffee."

Remus turned to stare at him. "That's all you have to say?"

"What do you wish me to say?" asked Severus.

"That she is being foolish to think Malfoy will even listen to her!"

"No matter how we may feel about the matter, she will do what she wants to do." Severus rested his palm against Remus's shoulder and pushed him gently towards the kitchen. "Go sit and drink your coffee while it is warm."

Remus handed him the bottle of Wolfsbane. "She said you would know the preservation spells to put on it so it is fresh."

"I will do that after you take your first dose," Severus said. He went into the cabinets and found a suitable glass to measure it out. "It will be helpful to be able to give you the proper dosage this month."

"Just make sure to keep the door locked." Remus sat down at the table. He sniffed the coffee. "Is this proper coffee?"

"Coffee with cream and two sugars," said Severus with a smile. "Nothing fancy."

Remus watched as Severus moved around their small kitchen. He picked up the coffee and took a sip. "Thank you."

"Pardon?" Severus peered over his shoulder at Remus.

"For the coffee." Remus lifted it slightly.

"There are perks that come with having a barista for a roommate," Severus said, setting the Wolfsbane on the table. "I have to go back to work for a few more hours. I just wanted to stop in."

Remus nodded. "I will have dinner ready."

Severus smiled slightly and bent to kiss his forehead. Remus closed his eyes against the kiss and when he opened them, Severus had left the room. Remus just smiled and finished the coffee and croissant.

* * *

Moony lounged on the rug in the small room, yawning widely. The wolf was tempered by the Wolfsbane and quiet. Sleep would be had tonight and only the transformations would make this full moon arduous.

However, the small room was too confining and he whined a little before getting up to scratch. Surprisingly, the door opened and Severus walked inside.

Moony sniffed the air. He could smell fear on Severus, fear mixed with determination. He watched the man warily.

"Come here," Severus said quietly, sitting down on the small couch. "I will not hurt you."

Moony ambled over, sitting down on his haunches and peering up at Severus, his golden eyes glinting in the low light. Tentatively, Severus reached out and touched Moony's scruff, scratching behind his ear.

Moony whined and leaned into the touch, the first comforting touch during a full moon since Sirius's death. And even then it had been Padfoot that comforted him during the night. Sirius was afraid to visit in human form even when the wolf was sedated with Wolfsbane.

"Would you like to leave this room?" asked Severus quietly. "You can sleep in your own bed if you wish."

Moony thumped his tail against the ground agreeably, his tongue snaking out to lick Severus's hand.

"Remus," Severus said, cupping a hand under the wolf's muzzle. "I know you are in there and can hear me. I … I don't want you locked in here alone anymore. Not when we have the Wolfsbane. I know you are safe. No arguments later, understand?"

Moony wagged his tail again in response and trotted over to the door expectantly. Severus let the large wolf out of the room and watched the animal head to Remus's bedroom door, nuzzling it open. A moment later, the wolf was curled up on the bed, his head on Remus's pillow.

Severus sat down on the edge of the bed and stroked Moony's coarse fur absently. "Forgive me for not sleeping in here tonight, but you are taking up the majority of the bed."

Moony just chuffed and closed his amber eyes, enjoying the attention and the bed. Severus sat with him for awhile before going to catch a few hours of sleep before Remus transformed back into himself.

* * *

Remus woke slowly, his body aching from the transformation last night. His joints were always swollen for a day or two afterwards these days. He was getting old, and had been a werewolf for too long. Werewolves did not usually live as long as Remus had. He believed it was the Wolfsbane.

He rubbed his eyes sleepily and last night came flooding back to him. Severus had let him out of the warded room.

Remus stumbled out of the bed, his back cracking menacingly. He pulled on his robe and shuffled as fast as he could into the living room. He could smell food cooking which hopefully meant that Severus was home.

Severus turned at the sound of Remus bumping into the couch. "Would you prefer tea or coffee?"

"You let me out of the room."

"Yes, I suppose I did," Severus said as he turned back to the stove. "You had taken the Wolfsbane."

"Never do that again," Remus said, his voice steely.

"I told you last night that I wanted no arguments about what I did." Severus fixed Remus a cup of tea. "You seemed agreeable to that at that time."

"I am a werewolf!" Remus shouted. "I could have killed you!"

Severus handed him the tea. "No."

Remus took the tea, still angry. "You have no way of knowing that. Maybe the Wolfsbane wasn't as effective as yours had been. Maybe the wolf would have taken advantage of the situation and escaped. Lots of things could have happened!"

Severus touched Remus's shoulder. "I trust you."

Remus opened his mouth and then closed it again. He looked at his tea and back at Severus. "Pardon?"

"I trust you," Severus said again. "In human and wolf form."

"Ah." Remus looked puzzled.

"I must shower," said Severus, pressing a kiss to the corner of Remus's mouth. "Virginia called and asked after you. Perhaps you should ring her later to tell her you are well. Eggs and bangers are on the table."

Remus blinked stupidly and nodded. Severus raised an eyebrow and left the living room. Moments later, the shower could be heard running. Remus sat down on the couch heavily and drank his tea.

* * *

Remus shelved another copy of _A History of God_ next to _Topping from Below_, barely paying attention to what he was doing. Virginia, finally noticing that her books were being sorted in quite possibly the worst fashion ever, followed behind him with a copy of _Sense and Sensibility_ in her hands.

"Remus J. Lupin!"

Remus jumped and dropped the rest of the books he was shelving on the ground. "Yes?"

"Why are you shelving religion books next to erotica in the self-help section?"

Remus looked at the shelf for a moment."This isn't the religious erotica self-help section?"

"No such thing, my dear," Virginia said as she wrapped her hand around Remus's wrist and tugged lightly. "Come sit. You need to talk to me."

"No, I really don't." Remus protested weakly, letting the tiny woman drag him over to the two armchairs in the cramped corner of the shop. She pointed at one with an arthritic finger and he obediently sat down, his elbows on his knees. "I really don't know what you want me to say."

"You've been walking around in a daze for three days." Virginia sat down as well, the book on her lap. "Care to fill me in?"

"I just. Severus. And he. With the thing." Remus ran his hand through his hair and tried again. "Remember a couple months ago when you tried to tell me that you were a dodgy old woman and that you'd lived through the 60s and 70s and knew that Severus and I enjoyed the company of men?"

"I may be senile, but I do remember that particular conversation." Virginia smiled at him, a bemused look on her face. "You also told me that I had it completely wrong and didn't know what I was talking about."

"Yes, well, about that," Remus chewed on his lip and looked around nervously. "I think I might love him."

"I feel the need to say I told you so."

"I don't know if he loves me."

Virginia leaned forward and smacked him on the forehead with _Sense and Sensibility_. Remus blinked in surprise, his mouth open.

"Open your eyes, Remus! That man has it bad for you," Virginia said as she shook the book in her hand. "It's like Colonel Brandon and Marianne. He's been waiting for you to take notice of him since he got here."

"We are not Colonel Brandon and Marianne." Remus protested. "I resent being compared to a spoiled, teenaged girl who makes bad decisions about her love life. I've not had a love life in nearly ten years and before that it was with the same person I'd been with as a teenager."

"It's a metaphor." Virginia rolled her eyes. "He loves you."

"How do I know?" Remus groaned and buried his head in his hands. "I'm too old for this."

"You are never too old to fall in love," Virginia said gently, turning her head to the front door when she heard the bells chime softly, announcing someone's entrance.

"Virginia? Remus?"

Virginia smirked at Remus. "We're back here, Severus!"

Severus came ambling towards the corner where the chairs were, a bag in his hand. He sat down on the arm of Remus's chair, his free hand trailing over Remus's shoulder briefly before he set the bag on the table between them.

"I brought you both coffee." Severus explained. "I'm afraid I do not know how you take your coffee, Virginia."

"Quite alright." Virginia assured him, taking out the two coffees and setting them on the table. "I'll just pop into the back and get us some cream and sugar, Remus."

"His is taken care of," Severus said helpfully.

Remus flushed a little at the knowing look Virginia gave him before she toddled off, leaving him alone with Severus.

"You look flushed," Severus said worriedly, his hand immediately going to Remus's forehead. "Are you still feeling the effects of the last full moon?"

Remus reached up and grabbed Severus's wrist, pulling his hand away. "I'm fine. Thank you for the coffee."

"It is not a problem. It is not busy over at the coffee shop so I decided to come see whether the two of you were faring any better." Severus looked around. "I see you are suffering from the same lack of business as we are."

"We've had two customers all day." Remus admitted. "All I've done is shelve books all morning."

"Badly I might add," Virginia said as she sat back down with cream and sugar. She leaned forward to fix her coffee. "He's been shelving books in the wrong spots all morning."

Severus caught Remus's gaze again and he just frowned as Remus looked away. "Well, I should be going. I'm not really on a break to be honest."

"See you at home?"

"Of course." Severus bent down and kissed Remus's cheek lightly. "I'll bring home something for dinner."

"Alright," Remus said with a small smile. He touched Severus's side before pulling back to let the other man go.

Severus nodded at Virginia. "Good day, Virginia."

Virginia smirked a little and nodded. "Good day, Severus."

Remus watched him go, a wistful smile on his face. When he turned back to Virginia, she was sipping her coffee and giving him a triumphant look.

"What?"

"He knows how you drink your coffee."

Remus picked up his coffee. "So?"

"He kisses you?"

"Sometimes," Remus said defensively. "It doesn't mean anything."

Virginia leaned forward and hit him with the book again. "That man loves you. Say something or else I'm going to have to dig out a copy of _Crime and Punishment_ to beat you with, Remus."

"You can't reach the Dostoevsky."

"I'll find a way."

Remus sat back in the chair and sipped his coffee. Virginia just waved the book at him menacingly, a twinkle in her eyes that reminded Remus all too much of Albus Dumbledore when he was plotting something with someone's love life.

Remus was naturally worried.

* * *

Two months passed and Remus kept quiet. Two months of waking up after a transformation with Severus next to him. Two months of Virginia making snide comments and comparing them to famous literary couples. Two months of wanking in the shower behind a silencing charm.

Tonks came back without the Gringotts keys and without finding Draco. She sat on the couch with a weary expression on her face, a cup of tea cradled between small hands. Remus sat next to her and said he was glad that she tried.

Tonks smiled at him tiredly, patting his thigh. She took one look at the living situation and didn't even suggest a shag. Remus was silently thankful.

When she left, Severus listened as Remus told him what she had said during the long hours of the day. Severus's expression never changed and he merely nodded once when Remus told him Draco had not been found.

Still Remus said nothing.

Two months and seventeen days after Remus had blurted out to Virginia that he was in love with Severus, Remus told him.

Well, he licked his face in wolf form and rolled onto his back, baring his neck to Severus. The gesture had been lost on Severus who assumed he wanted his stomach scratched. The scratching was appreciated, but now Remus knew he had to do it in human form.

Remus was not a romantic, never had been. When he and Sirius began dating, neither of them had asked the other one. Sirius had accidentally found Remus's stash of porn and kissed him. From then on, they were SiriusandRemus.

After Azkaban, Sirius had showed up on Remus's doorstep - insane, half-starved, and on a mission for Dumbledore. Remus fed him, held him, and dodged hexes when something went bump in the night.

His relationship with Sirius had been comfortable, even after twelve years apart. The year they had together had been nice, but it had left Remus with a sense of unease. Sirius's death had broken him for a long time although he'd tried to never show it.

Late at night, Remus whispered these things to Severus, bared his heart to him and allowed Severus the chance to walk away. In return, Severus spoke simple words of love and affection into his pillow, traced the loves of his life - first Lucius, then Harry.

Neither of them spoke of the other.

Until the night Remus rolled over and surprised Severus in the middle of telling him about Harry.

"I love you."

Severus stuttered mid-sentence. "W…what?"

"I love you and I think you love me and I think we need to stop pretending that this isn't what it is. Because I want it to be more." Remus blinked in the darkness, seeing Severus's cheeks flush. "And I think you want it to be more too."

"You seem quite sure of what I want," Severus said to him, his hand on Remus's hip suddenly resting heavier than before. "How can you be so sure?"

"I can't be sure. Virginia said that we were like the tragic lovers of the past - all anguish and repression, unable to escape the rigid molds we've been assigned. I decided to get away from that and tell you."

"Virginia needs to mind her own business," Severus said, his thumb now making small circles against the flannel of Remus's pajama bottoms. "We are not tragic lovers. We've had our tragic loves already. There is no war going on anymore, no one to tear us apart with their disapproval, no prisons or dungeon walls to hold us back. Just us and a whole bunch of Muggles."

Remus smiled tentatively. "Just us. So things change now?"

"They already had," Severus said to him quietly. "You just hadn't realized it."

"You could have told me," Remus said with a tight laugh. He tentatively moved to rest his hand on Severus's chest, a liberty he had not yet taken. "Werewolves are stupid, you know."

Severus covered Remus's hand with his own. "Mine isn't."

 

**Epilogue **

 

Remus pushed open the door to the coffee shop, inhaling deeply, smelling the mingled scents of various coffee beans and teas. Severus was setting down a sandwich in front of a woman wearing a blue parka and a kilt even though it was the middle of July and London was obscenely hot.

The coffee shop had started serving sandwiches a couple of months before and Severus, as usual, complained mightily about it. In private, he told Remus that he was not a house-elf and therefore shouldn't have to make food for others. Remus reminded him that Severus did most of the cooking at home, but apparently - according to Severus - that was different.

The sandwiches were successful, Severus quieted down and was made the assistant manager when Jacob, the previous assistant, quit to go travel across Europe with his friends. Naomi, one of the other baristas who had been up for the job, teased him about it until Severus told her to bugger off. They got on splendidly after that.

It was comforting - their lives - for both of them. Virginia had stopped coming to the shop most days, leaving Remus in charge. Another of Tonks's strays - Gabrielle Delacoure - ended up staying with them and she worked with Remus in the bookstore under his supervision.

"Going on a break," Severus said to the girl behind the counter, someone Remus didn't recognize. Severus headed over to him with a half-smile. They kissed briefly, Remus's hand falling to Severus's hip. "I received an email from Susan Bones. Come see."

"Did she have the baby?" asked Remus, following him over to the bank of computers along the back wall of the coffee shop.

"A boy," Severus said proudly. "She named him Bennett."

Remus smiled. "Little blessed one."

"Yes." Severus opened his email and guided Remus to the stool, sitting him down. "Read. This makes three boys and two girls this year alone."

Remus read the email happily, thankful that Severus had taken the initiative to track down wizards and witches whom had been scattered across England and even further. With Tonks's help, they had found and contacted 48 of their lost brethren. Severus had been the one to bring them online so they could keep in contact easier.

"Our world will survive," Remus said with a smile as he finished the email. "It's only fitting that we will owe our survival to Muggles. Voldemort would be spinning in his grave if he had one."

Severus chuckled and rested a hand on Remus's shoulder. "When these children reach school age, you will have no choice but teach Transfigurations as well as Defense Against the Dark Arts."

"Me?" Remus laughed. "Oh no. We're dragging the metamorph in for that subject."

"Very well." Severus sighed heavily, a smile playing on the corner of his lips. "Did you come for tea or just to bother me?"

"Gabrielle wanted a half skim white chocolate mocha." Remus rolled his eyes, "You've corrupted her with your fancy drinks. Tea used to be tea and biscuits. Now it's a chore."

Severus snorted and sauntered over to the espresso bar. "You were the one who had to shag Nymphadora thereby forcing me out into the cold, dark night where I found this humble little shop, warm and bright, just inviting me in from the cold. So, it is your fault, not mine."

Remus followed him and leaned against the counter. "Drama queen. Just give me a caramel mocha with an extra shot of espresso."

Severus snorted at that. "Yes, Gabrielle is the corrupted one."

Remus declined to answer, instead watching Severus make the drinks. It wasn't mixing potions or slicing ingredients, but Severus's hands were swift and careful. He had proved to be skilled at making coffee. He moved confidently without any of the earlier stumbling that had come along with the unfamiliar technology.

Remus smiled at Severus's reflection in the shiny brass of the espresso machine. This wasn't what either of them had wanted so long ago when they had been students at Hogwarts. A Potions Master working as an assistant manager in a Muggle coffee shop and a Defense Against the Dark Arts professor running a bookstore certainly made an interesting pair when Tonks used them as examples of how to survive in the Muggle world.

Severus handed Remus his mocha and pressed a kiss to his forehead. "What are you thinking?"

Remus sipped his mocha and shrugged a little. "That we survived."

 

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